(CNN) — What, you’ve never heard of Darth Maul’s more unassuming but no less evil brother, Dennis?
With his red face, dark cloak and dual-bladed lightsaber, you could easily mistake him for the villainous Sith Lord from the “Star Wars” universe.
But the farce would be with you. Dennis is part of a collection of hilariously named bootleg toys that crudely appropriate characters from 1999’s “Star Wars: Episode I — The Phantom Menace.”
With their disproportionate limbs, vacant eyes and wardrobe malfunctions, these toys are clearly from an uncanny valley far far away. Chancellor Valorum takes shape as blue-robed Glorious Star Lord; Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn is Fly-Gone-Gin; his apprentice Obi-Wan Kenobi is Toby-One. Towheaded young Anakin Skywalker is simply “Little Girl.”
Wholesale Clearance UK, which buys and sells bankrupt clearance stock, bought them in a public liquidation auction in August 2014, managing director Karl Baxter wrote in an email.
“Every time I look at these in the warehouse they make me laugh out loud,” Baxter said.
A “Star Wars” fan who named his own son Anakin, Baxter could not pass up the toys even though he had no idea what to do with them. Because they are “clearly fake,” he cannot sell them.
He decided to wait for the arrival of the latest installment in the “Star Wars” franchise, “Episode VII — The Force Awakens,” to share them with the world this week in a blog post headlined, “Attack of the poorly made clones.”
“From the freaky limbs of the Pod Race Droid, to Daft Serious’ vacant stare, these characters are sure to inspire a chuckle, even if the force is not with them.”