Python Bites Man’s Penis as He Sits on Toilet

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CHACHOENAGSAO, Thailand — A Thai man is recovering after a python slithered up the toilet he was using and bit his penis.

Wait – it gets worse.

The 11-foot snake would not let go. Attaporn Boonmakchuay’s bloody penis was being held hostage by a giant serpent.

According to khaosodenglish.com, Boonmakchuay called for his wife to get a rope and managed to tie the python’s head to the bathroom door so he could detach himself “before he passed out from loss of blood,” the site wrote.

Boonmakchuay’s wife tells Thairath when she entered the bathroom, she saw her bleeding husband fighting a python. She watched as he tied the snake to the door and wrangled himself free before losing consciousness.

The poor guy is hospitalized and has full memory of the bizarre event. He told reporters he carefully unhinged the snake’s jaws rather than forcing the snake free — because he “did not want to risk permanent damage to his self.”

Smart man.

As for the snake, rescue workers dismantled the toilet and were able to take the snake from the home alive.

And get this, they were able to smash enough of the fixture to free the snake, which is expected to be released into the wild.

WHAT?!?