Paula Ede's heart has been shattering slowly for five weeks -- the five terrifying weeks she's been without her 20-year-old daughter Aly.
"You can talk about a person and tell them that you love them so much, and when you don't hear it back, it's, it's terrifying," she said.
Now she and Aly Yeoman's close family of friends are dealing with the frightening reality that a body found in the Feather River on Sunday may be the answer to the desperate search they've been on since March 30.
That was the last time Yeoman was seen.
"I think people are really thinking it's her, but at the same time, to think it's her is just putting a bad, negative vibe toward the family and just making them think the worst. But to be honest... I hope it's not her. I hope she's still alive," said friend Tino Ibanez.
Massive search efforts evolved in and around the Live Oak Recreation Center in the days that followed, the discovery of her truck in an orchard, backing up the story told by home surveillance video.
That video showing Yeoman's truck turning onto a back orchard road, any trace of her vanishing along with the dark images.
"She had a great smile...has a great smile..got to stop putting it like that," said her grandmother Nancy Yeoman."She needs to be here, not out there somewhere."
Though the areas of "out there" that include the Feather River near the recreation area were searched, a fisherman's discovery of a body there Sunday is raising all kinds of questions.
One that's lingered the longest?
What exactly was going on between the now missing 20-year-old college student and the 37-year-old man she was drinking with at his home just before she disappeared?
"I didn't know about him, uh, and I didn't know that he even existed," said Ede.
"I had nothing to do with the disappearance of Aly," said 37-year-old Mike Lizarraga, the last person known to have seen her.
That's the only thing loved ones want to know more than if the Feather River has been holding the answer to their other question in their hearts for five weeks.
The remains found were too badly decomposed to immediately determine gender.
An autopsy, which could be performed as early as tomorrow, will provide some answers.